Chitchat and the occasional in-depth analysis about fiber, knitting, spinning, crochet, cooking, feminism, self-image, and a modicum of personal blathering.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Thinking

I have many thoughts. Some are more coherent than others. I've been wanting to post about my Meniere's in general and my hearing loss specifically. I also want to post about having been a social outcast in the past and how it impacts my relationships and reactions to day to day living, since I've had some serious trouble with that of late. I end up coming here and thinking, though, why bother, and I post some pretty knitting photos or pictures of the cat or some yarn that I've spun and I'm done with it.

Is it laziness? Maybe. Is it not wanting to put too much of myself out there? Maybe. I'm not terribly concerned with being all private-like, I'm pretty much an open book. I think part of it is I'm still not used to this computer and typing on it can be a pain in the ass. But it makes up for it in other ways, like the ability to take it into my craft room and watch videos while I spin.

So in the meantime, some pictures.

I'm making a sweater, called Warriston. I have a lot more than this done but this is the most recent photo. The pattern is pretty brilliant. It has pockets!
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I'm actually almost ten inches into the 17 inches of body I need to knit before dividing for the sleeves so it's going pretty fast.

I'm spinning too.
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This is a lovely gradient BFL/Silk blend from Corgi Hill farm that is going to be a Tuscan Sunflower Shawl.

Biscuit and Biddy are kinda getting along better. Biddy loves the heater vent in the bathroom and so does Biscuit, so it leads to the occasional uneasy truce.
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I have a new doggie sister, Daisy, a four year old terrier mix.
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She seems pretty sweet.

And I got a new spindle. It was sparkly. It isn't a high precision instrument, but it is very pretty. It spins fast, but not long.P2181456

When we redid the craft room, we decided to use the old shoe caddy (which did not work for my shoes because my feet are too big) for miscellaneous storage. It ended up holding all the spindles easily, and some other stuff besides.
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And this is the last pair of socks I made for myself, a month or so ago. I really like them, but the yarn seems to be fading fast. Shame. I loved the colors.
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And today is my lovely daughter Lena's 28th birthday. Holy cow. Where does the time go?
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Monday, February 13, 2012

Monday Morning post

So, with this shiny new crafting space, I've been spinning a bit every day.

This one was a bit of a disappointment. There were some unexpected colors hidden inside the batt, and they combined in some unexpected ways.
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I have had similar things happen in the past and oddly, most of the time I end up liking the object that the yarn is made of in the end just fine. So I will remain optimistic. 517 yards of a lace weight two ply.

This one is fiber made from Feistywoman Designs sock batts. Her fiber is a joy to spin, always. It ended up a little short on yardage but it's a sport weight yarn so it should work out fine for thicker socks. 325 yards of sport weight three ply.

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Here's the room, by the way.

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It's easy to go in there with my laptop and a couple of DVDs and spin and enjoy the bright daylight and clean surroundings. I could use a more comfortable spinning chair but it is good in a way because it keeps me from sitting in one place too long.

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I did get better photos of the rainbow shawl and they're on the flickr feed if you want to see more. I'm rather fond of this one.
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In other news, Biscuit now has his own Facebook page. What is this world coming to?
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Saturday, February 04, 2012

I love rainbows

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Ever since I saw this on Ravelry, I have wanted to knit it. I found the perfect yarn in Aade Long, a rustic yet vibrant yarn from Estonia. The pattern scared me. It was a written out, not charted pattern and I prefer working from charts. It was a lot of pages and no pictures. There was grafting. Many of the projects on the pattern page were listed as "ZZZ" meaning they'd been asleep with no progress for a long time. Many others were listed as "frogged", which meant the knitters had given up. But there were many more that were finished and man, some of them were impressive.

So, when the first of the year rolled around, I thought "why not?" I caked the yarn and cast on. And less than a month later, it's done.

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Nice yarn cake, isn't it?

It wasn't nearly as difficult as I thought it would be. First, the center circle and the two wings are knitted.
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The pattern is fairly straightforward once you get the beginning done. It's intuitive and I don't' think a chart would have been especially helpful. The hardest part was attaching the border to the top of the circle section. It took me hours and about five times tinking it back and starting over to wrap my head around the process. But eventually, it clicked.
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The wings are then grafted on to the center, the bottom of it is "leveled" by adding the triangular sections and several rows, then the border begins.

The border was pretty tedious, there are 86 of the "feathers" and each one is 23-26 stitches, ten rows. That took about a week.

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I was determined to see it through and I stayed project-monogamous so the whole thing took 30 days. Much less than I thought it would, considering I have a couple of projects that have been lingering for a year and more.

It's my favorite knitted thing so far. I can't stop picking the faults apart but I still love it.
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I wore it twice this week and I got many comments, some from total strangers in the street. Kind of embarrassing. But neat.

I tried to take more photos of it but it's snowing just enough to distract the camera. And too cold out there to stay long. I'm sure more will turn up on my flickr sooner or later.

Thursday, February 02, 2012

Saying goodbye to a Pittsburgh icon.



The Civic Arena in Pittsburgh opened for business the same year I was born. My contemporary, it was a wonder of technology, a marvel of architecture, and an iconic midcentury monument. Atomic Age style at its best.


When the Civic Arena was built, it was controversial. The Hill District in Pittsburgh was a vibrant community, the only neighborhood directly linked to Downtown Pittsburgh. The Arena cut off that connection, a neat excision of one of Pittsburgh’s largest African American populations. I was too young to be aware of the impact of this excision. Already suffering the long term effects of Pittsburgh’s slowing economy, the Hill neighborhood suffered a great deal, both monetarily and emotionally. 1500 families and 400 businesses were dislocated. It never really recovered. One need only see the early 50s photos by Teenie Harris and compare them with the Hill in the 70s, 80s, and today. Not all attributable to the Arena, of course, but it had a huge negative impact. And the conflict is not over-Hill residents are being largely ignored in the redevelopment talks.



But still. What a building it is.



Designed by the architectural firm of Mitchell and Ritchey, the design was overseen by modernist architect William H Sippel, who died in 2007, living long enough to plead for the preservation of the building. The shape alone was breathtaking. Enormous yet graceful, the concept of the moveable cantilevered dome was inspired by Dahlen Ritchey’s (Of Mitchell and Richey) visits to Fallingwater during construction. Edgar Kaufmann, the owner of Fallingwater, had Ritchey come out and check up on Frank Lloyd Wright’s design, as he had concerns about the design. Edgar Kaufmann went on to donate the money to build the arena, originally for Pittsburgh’s Civil Light Opera.



It wasn’t a great venue for acoustic music. The cavernous dome ate up sound. It turned out to be great for amplified concerts, though, as well as large sporting events, political rallies, Hollywood films, and religious revivals.




There are tons of lists of events, but I want to talk about some of the ones that I went to. My first rock concert, Grand Funk Railroad in 1974. The Ice Capades, more than once. The circus. The Pittsburgh Folk Festival, with endless ethnic variety of food, display, and performance. Parliament Funkadelic with Sly Stone, Stevie Wonder with opening act Bob Marley and the Wailers in 1979, Marley’s final tour. Pittsburgh Penguins games, mostly in the bad years. The filming of The Fish Who Saved Pittsburgh, where we had to move from one side of the arena to the other for crowd scenes because there weren’t enough people there. So many good memories. The sight of the arena glinting in the evening sun, or a sunrise seen from the Hill behind the arena, goosebumps come up just thinking about it. And behind it, all the way to the top of the Hill, all the way to Oakland, decline. Sadness, grief, a weary desolation I was too young, too white, too privileged to really understand.




The Civic Arena stopped meeting the needs of the Penguins, the primary occupant, in the mid-2000’s. The die was cast and it was only a matter of time. There’s been some debate the last few years, a few determined allies wanting to preserve this historic example of modernist architecture, all for naught. Too big a space to stay vacant, too much to maintain to keep as is. It had seen better days, the amazing roof last opened in 1993, a lack of maintenance on the mechanism and the age and expense of keeping it running was too much.




So we say goodbye. The building is stubborn. The demolition teams are having some pretty serious difficulties. Like me, it was made to last. I will miss it, and it will always be part of what made me who I am, but it will be interesting to see what Pittsburgh does with those 94 acres at the edge of downtown. I can only hope they use it to heal.


(This video contains dated information but some great images. The sense of hope kind of makes me sad.)



Monday, January 30, 2012

The further I go, the behinder I get.

First things first. Nobody guessed the correct answer for my contest back before Christmas. Here was the mysterious photo-

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And what is it, you may ask? It's the inside of this-
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-a parking garage on Smithfield street in Pittsburgh. There's a convenience store on the bottom floor, and when you go into the store, you pass beneath the roundabout. If you look up, you see the inside of the spiral that the cars go up, concrete walls and skylights on top. It does look rather like the inside of a salt shaker.

Congratulations to Brea for winning the random number draw-she got this lovely skein of merino/silk, spun on a spindle, about 200 yards of squooshy, colorful fun.

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Things have been pretty hectic otherwise. Very busy. As I posted last time, my older daughter has finished the work she needed to do and is once again in touch. It's a process, but I love that she is back and every time I talk to her on the phone, text with her, or see her, it's very happy-making.

Last week was my 51st birthday. We went to the Japanese steakhouse nearby and I got the ridiculous birthday thing.


Despite technical difficulties, it ended up being a lot of fun.

This is a light, non-challenging sort of post. I have deep thoughts, but I am not indulging them to any great extent at the moment since 2011 was so emotionally fraught. I need fluff, and fun, and bright colors, and happiness. There is plenty of time for serious business. Maybe february.

In knitting, I've been busy. January first, I cast on a very challenging project, "In The Pink", a winged shawl with interesting construction and a very challenging pattern. I'm actually almost done. My Ravelry project page is here. I took these photos on Friday, but I've made a lot more progress since then.

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See the "feathers" along the edge? There are 86 altogether. I have done 70. So I plan to finish today, making it in less than a month. I didn't expect to get it done so fast but I've been project-monogamous except for socks on the bus. I'm looking forward to doing some spinning after I'm done with this.

My younger daughter gave me a terrific gift for my birthday-she organized and cleaned the craft/library/dog room. It was a chaotic mess, things strewn all over. It was like something out of "Hoarders". It's now neat and organized and clean and I could actually go in there and sew or spin if I wanted. Amazing.

More soon, hopefully. For now, I have a knitting project to finish.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Truer Words Were Never Spoken

Like Bob says, sometimes the best gifts don't cost a cent.

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Both my wonderful daughters in my living room, just a couple of hours ago. Not much more to say about it, except that a huge, huge weight is off my shoulders. I'm incredibly happy about that.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

The most what? time of the year


Meet Etran Finatawa.

I found this music through Google Music, which has some awesome features. There was a track from this musician in a bunch of free world music I was able to download. I liked it so much, I sought out more. It relaxes me. Something about it resonates. Maybe I have Wodaabe ancestors way back, I don't know. Southern Italy, northern Africa, who knows.

Almost ready for Holiday Extravaganza 2011 NOW with half the offspring. I am so bitter and sad and just depressed about this. I'm not gonna pretend, this shit hurts. But I'll get through it. Bob is awesome and I can talk to him about it any time, Anna is helping by talking me through things. I'll just be glad when it's over. Add to it that I'm not fully over the cold I had a couple of weeks ago and the antibiotics I'm taking for the resulting sinus infection are making me nauseated, and it's a good time to be had by all.

I finished the other skein I was spinning and upon reflection, they don't really match that well, color wise or texturally. So I have two wee skeins that I have no idea what to do with. This one is under 300 yards as well. It's pretty and soft, though.

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I haven't had the wheel out in so long I wonder if I'll still be able to use it. Partly space considerations, partly time. I am on the last couple of inches of my final holiday knitting project though, so maybe I'll have time to sit with my wheel soon. I plan on taking a couple of days off in January just because I need a damn vacation.

Made a tea cosy. It was long overdue. I have been drinking a lot of tea lately and I get sick of the second cup being stone cold. It works perfectly. Could have made it a little bigger.

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I also made some needle-felted coasters. These are a gift for a relative. I think they look kinda primitive but I guess there's nothing really wrong with that.

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Bob and I are keeping the gifts low key this year between us. Financial reasons and stress reasons. He is hard to shop for and I know I'm not easy either, mostly because he always wants me to say GET ME THIS and I prefer to be surprised.

I continue to learn the Macbook. My biggest frustration at this point is dealing with Comcast Backup because it will NOT finish backing up my files and it continues to show my vault space as incorrect. I had to get a utility to detect duplicate files because some kind of weird nesting shit happened and I ended up with most of my photos and PDFs being duplicate and triplicate and I was able to remove close to 75G of unnecessary stuff from my hard drive. The tech help hasn't been much help and I think as soon as the new year comes and I get a few paychecks under my belt, I'm going to ditch them and go with a different service. (Recommendations welcome) The other thing is when I go to work I keep trying to scroll the wrong way and use my finger on my mouse to swipe things. Oops. Doesn't work. I really like the computer though.

Not much else to say. I have a lot of thoughts running around in my head but there's not much time right now to sit down and get them in order. I do have one more thing-I am inspired to do a giveaway.

BUTTERCUP'S FIRST BLOGULAR GIVEAWAY!

This is going to be easier for local folks, but I'll send a random skein of handspun yarn to the first person who can tell me what this is.


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Have fun, and if you roll that way, have a happy holiday. I'll try to post next week sometime.

Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Ny Quil Dreams

Fitful vivid dreams all night. Some continuity, but disjointed as these things are.

The one I remember most, we are talking about music. Our cousin is there and I confess to him that I like the occasional indulgence of pop music.

She smiles at me and says, Mom, don't you know it's all part of your rock and roll lifestyle. She smiles at me again, so warm and with so much love that it breaks something in me, and I ask her, can I please have a hug? Please? She starts moving towards me and the alarm goes off.

Monday, December 05, 2011

Plop Plop Fizz Fizz, oh, what a relief it is.

I've been stricken with a dreadful cold out of nowhere, so this will be quick.

Finally got a picture of the babies in the sweaters I made them-presenting Lincoln and Roscoe.


I am not sure which is which.

I have just over a pair and a half of socks to complete in just under three weeks. Should not be a problem. I guess it helps that I'm knitting for one less person. Sigh.

Also, shopping is done. Other than the last minute filler crap that goes into the stockings, I got everything. Again, probably made easier by one less person to shop for. Again, sigh. But I was being stupid thinking up to the last minute there would be some sort of reconciliation. At this point, I have not seen my daughter in almost a year and there is no reason to imagine that will change. The things I've already bought her, I will probably donate to a women's shelter.

Trying not to spin too much because I need to finish the socks. But I did do this skein of merino/silk. Bad cell phone picture, all I have for now. I am not up to doing an outdoor photo session. Maybe over the weekend. Two ounces, almost 300 yards, spun on the Fibership. There is more blue than it appears.


I'm doing a similar silk/merino in a complimentary colorway and thinking of combining them in a project. Since there's not enough for a decent sized project on their own.

Naptime, possibly. I might get a load in the wash first, though.

Thursday, December 01, 2011

All in the attitude.

I recently changed my facebook profile picture to this.

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I don’t know how old I was here. I’m thinking maybe second grade. I got my first glasses in second grade. (I’ll have to ask my mother to be sure. ) Some things can be deduced from this photo, though.

This child is proud of herself. This child has very little doubt about how awesome she is. This child has not yet learned that her worth is tied up in her body size, in her ability to be one of the popular kids, in how she dresses. She is calmly positive, confident in her intelligence. She knows she is loved and dammit, she knows she’s CUTE. Because she is. I mean, look at that face. How cute is that?

The lessons about pride being a sin have not yet sunk in. How evil it is to think too much of yourself has not yet been implanted in this young brain. This soul still has joy in just learning, moving, being. This soul doesn’t yet know she’s not nearly as good as she thinks she is.

Movement is still fun. Playing is still just playing. Food is just food; something (usually delicious) that is fuel for the body and spirit. She hasn’t yet learned to look in the mirror and hate what she sees.

There’s not much sense lamenting what was and how things should have been. It is what it is, and I am, much like Popeye, who I am. I like this picture, though, because I like to remind myself that somewhere inside, this awesome adorable kid is still having a lot of fun.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Trans-Holiday Express

More crafting, and a holiday update.

Remember last post with the tragic felting accident? I did make somewhat of a replacement, though it's not nearly as nice, not as soft or as long, it does have other advantages, though, like how fast it was to knit, and how gorgeous the colors are.


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The pattern can be found on Ravelry as Summer Flies, I did have to do some adaptations due to the amount of yarn I had-not quite enough. I made the final lace section smaller, did a yarn over increase for the ruffle, and made the ruffle shorter, though it was exactly as long as it could be because I only had about 2 yards of yarn left after binding off.


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The yarn is handspun BFL from Play At Life fiber arts on Etsy. The colorway is "Twinkle Lights", and it started life as a black alternating with bright splashes of color. The spun result was quite different and not what I expected. I chain-plied the single to preserve the color runs, and I'm glad I did. You can see the roving and the resultant yarn here.

I finished spinning the BFL from Briar Rose Fibers, and got a whopping 867 yards. That may be my highest yardage from BFL ever, I got more yardage from some Corgi Hill Farm batts and also a merino/silk blend, but BFL tends to be more dense and so you tend to get less yardage. I'm quite pleased with it, but I seem to have been on quite the mauve/pink kick lately and that must be rectified, as soon as I finish spinning this pink and etc roving I'm working on now. I have an electric blue/green from CHF queued next. In the meantime, here's this.

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Knitting a couple of pair of socks for the holidays but I remain uninspired. I am sure it will return in time. Until then, I will spin. I did do a stash toss today as planned and found that I have room in my storage bins and my cedar chest so I am making a dent in the stash by spinning. It looks like in the past year I have used more than I've bought. Between that and the small destash I did earlier in the year and the class I taught at the RG where I gave away about 3 lbs of fiber, I've definitely decreased my stash.

We had a lovely thanksgiving at my mom's house and somehow I was not a complete wreck, just a partial one. Progress, I guess, or I'm learning to hide it better.

Until next time...

Saturday, November 19, 2011

I still do crafts, by the way

My last several posts have been non-craft related so I guess I need to change that. I'm certainly not knitting at the pace I was last year (or the year before, or the year before that), don't seem to be motivated or have my heart in it, but I am knitting some things and spinning some others.

Bob's nephew and niece had twin boys back at the end of August. (Yes, that makes me a great-aunt. Yikes. ) They were tiny little things and stayed in the hospital a while, but they're home now and doing wonderfully. So I sent them a pair of sweaters made from handspun.

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The pattern is Baby Sophisticate from Ravelry. The yarn is handspun worsted weight two ply from Enchanted Knoll superwash lambswool roving. I love the nice bright blue/green for the wee redheaded babies and can't wait to see photos of them wearing the sweaters at some point, if they fit. I hope they fit.

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My current spinning project is a fiber I got at Rhinebeck, from Briar Rose fibers, a gorgeous BFL that I am actually almost finished spinning on my Dyakcraft Fibership, so the next photos you see of this will hopefully be a completed skein.

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I also did some spinning on the spindle I got at Rhinebeck, it is a lovely little tool and I'm sure I'll get tons of use out of it. It spins a nice fine single with little difficulty.

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I'm working on the usual holiday socks, at least. My relatives may get store-bought gifts or photographs this year, and hopefully that will be fine. If not, nothing I can do about it.

I have a cautionary tale too. Remember my Fruit Slice shawl? The one made from handspun BFL/Silk that I loved so much and wore constantly, whenever possible, the one piece of visible hand knitting I chose to take to Rhinebeck to represent me, my very favorite neck thing even more than my giant orange lace shawl, even more than my gradient yellow to purple batwing thing, even more than my Gaga Hair thing? Remember that?

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Yeah, the one with the ruffle.

It went through the laundry. I totally missed that it was mixed in with some sweaters I threw downstairs. It is a felted, tiny, mess. I am distraught.



The only thing to do is start a replacement. So I've done so and hopefully will have pictures soon. But the moral of the story is CHECK YOUR LAUNDRY FOR HANDKNITS. Always.

Things are pretty ok otherwise. I'm fighting back the vertigo and working like a machine due to our ridiculous workload, but at least it makes the days go. The darkness is getting me down as usual but only a month until the light starts to come back, so there's that. I continue to get to know the macbook and my biggest frustration is that I can't get to my pictures, which are on the other computer, and I haven't had a chance to take them to the apple store for the big transfer. I tried to get my files transferred from my backup program but I can't seem to make it work. No doubt something I'm doing wrong here. It makes me nervous to think those thousands of photos are all hanging there, where I can't get them. My life in pictures. My photos might not be valuable to anyone else but to me they are my purest artistic expression and mean more to me than any amount of knitting ever will. So while they're not with me, I am ill at ease.

Bob and Anna are both working at the same store tonight at their inventory jobs, I am alone with my thoughts and the macbook and my knitting and the cats and dogs and a bunch of lovely stuffed acorn squash that just came out of the oven, so I'm going to go get dinner. Recipe later if it's good.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Coming to Grips

I had a revelation last night. It might have been a dream that did it, or just the constant drumbeat in my head of what is and isn't in my life and how I want things to be and if that actually matters.

I don't necessarily think it's selfish of me to want my children to be a part of my life. I love them. I love them more than anything or anybody. I would die for either of them, no question.

Sometimes you have to face a reality that really hurts. No matter how much you want to go on holding out hope that everything will be ok, that someday normalcy will return, that the phone is going to ring or there will be an email or a knock on the door and there will be tears and hugging and that the relationship, in some form, will resume. You want to believe that somehow, everything will be better, that there will be healing.

Sometimes, though, you have to realize, and especially as a parent, that what you want is not as important as what is best for your child, and that further, what you think is best is irrelevant. That may be the hardest part about being a parent, knowing that you can be (and often are) wrong. If my daughter has determined that the best thing for her is to not have her family in her life, to not have me in her life, then I have to accept that. Because if I really and truly want what is best for her then she has to decide what that is. Much like the whole "don't you want grandchildren" thing I hear all the time, I am not qualified to tell anyone else how to live their life. No matter how much it hurts.

At some point I'll come out of this shadow I've been living in. This may be an important step in that, it may not be. I will always and eternally love my daughters and I will never close the door on either of them, but I have to accept that a decision they make is none of my business and let it go.



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