Chitchat and the occasional in-depth analysis about fiber, knitting, spinning, crochet, cooking, feminism, self-image, and a modicum of personal blathering.

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Monday, December 24, 2007

maybe I'm crazy to suppose...

It's been an interesting week. Needless to say, very busy. And being non-christian has never saved me from the hustle and bustle of the holiday season.

I was very happy to see Yule come this year. I needed the light to come back. All in all, it was a better year than last, but could still stand some improvement.

My accomplishments for 2007 include...

Became proficient at knitting socks.

Acquired a good camera and making strides to learning how to use it.

Decided that I need to stop fighting and hating my body and start learning to love it and work with it.

Reconciled myself to doing the most low-stress version of my job that involves actually doing some work, and coming up with workable compromises between my standards and the unrealistic workload.

Learned to make straciatella in several different ways. Decided on the way I like best.

Began reclaiming my feminism and seeing all the ways in which patriarchy hurts us all, and calling bullshit where I see it in that regard.

So all in all, not bad. And my quitmeter (at the bottom of the page) keeps inexorably ticking toward two years. There are days I don't even think about smoking. Weeks I go without actively wanting a cigarette. It's pretty cool.

Now that I've finished the dread holiday knitting, I have time to work on stuff for ME, ME I TELL YOU! HAHAHAHAHA.

My Iris socks should be done by the end of the week.

This pattern moves really fast, but you can't make it out very well unless the socks are stretched out.


I also started on Lovlund by Cornelia Scott Hamilton.

It's a short sleeved sweater designed to work with Noro yarn, but I'm using Jojoland Rhythm which has color runs like Noro but more shifting colors than abrupt changes. Pretty nice, actually. The colors aren't as neon-y as they look in the photos but at 5 in the AM on christmas eve, I'm not working for the perfect shot.

I woke up at 4:30 and could not get back to sleep. My back is getting worse and worse all the time, my feet keep going numb at night. It starts with the two middle toes on each foot, and radiates out and back. Once I get up and start moving around, it goes away. On top of that, I had a severe flare-up of costochondritis on Friday and Saturday. Had to take vicodin in order to sleep, but when I woke up yesterday, it was much better. It still hurts some but nothing like the agony that was Saturday.

I'm trying not to think about the things that are missing this year, namely my Grandmother and Melissa, and yes, Quincy too. Melissa not being here hurts the most. She used to do "russian christmas" when we first met, because we both worked in retail and were very poor. That branched out into our habit of declaring "russian" anything from birthdays celebrated late to Mother's day delayed to get good tables at restaurants. She was the source of so many small traditions in my life that it's hard to go a day without feeling her absence, very keenly. And I'm not obtuse enough to miss the connection between my sadness and my physical maladies... I can only hope that in time, my heart will heal enough to allow my body to follow.

Well, I hope everyone has a good holiday of your choice. Today will be work and then to my Aunt's house for a while. Tomorrow, my mom and my elder daughter will gather here for present-opening before we set out to my Uncle's house for the day. Then back to work Wednesday. Enjoy it as best you can!

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